How many of you have served in the Military, the Police, Emergency or fire (volunteer) services?
From the day we undertake the training, male or female, young or old, we are put in strenuous circumstances. We are subjected to high octane highly dangerous situations, exposed to trauma like you have never seen and told to push through, told to grow up, told to step up and Man UP!!!
How we love our roles with a passion, it is our calling, it is our purpose and I wouldn’t change a second of my career and life so far.
The role needs us to perform constantly at this heightened, combative, challenging level day in day out and too be honest that is who I am. I loved the continual challenges, the prestige and honour of being the team or person responsible for being called upon to help, support or save a life.
However the more we are told throughout all our careers to suck it up, think of the bigger picture, grow some balls; we become anaesthetised to the trauma, stress and fatigue we live through continually because the role demands it of us. The more it demands, the more we give, the more we give the less we realise what is happening to us. And it is not only we that suffer, all our loved ones around us are suffering too. Your commitment and professionalism can and will NEVER be questioned: we will not allow it, because it is who we are.
At what point though do we actually put our hand up and say help! Without the fear of the Man UP phrase being stuffed down our throats will we be seen as weak? Will people think less of us, will they think I can’t cope? I could never have someone think that of me. Our pride, our ego, but most of all our PERCEPTION of others’ responses delude us from what actually might be their response.
I have seen enough trauma to last a lifetime after 25 years in an RAF combat medic role. I served in all major operations abroad in stressful situations with limited resources. As the Aeromedical Evacuation Manager at the Royal Centre for Defence Medicine, Birmingham UK I received some 220 casualties per month, everything from twisted ankles to triple amputees. I worked 80 hour weeks, ‘manning up’ as it didn’t equate to the physical and mental trauma of my patient No wonder that my tour of Afghanistan at the end of this job made me realise that I had seen enough trauma in a lifetime, resulting in leaving my loved career. I truly understand how the expectations we put on ourselves to ‘Man UP’ takes over. Our professionalism, bond and pride mean we have to step up always.
IN REALITY, we are not expected to cope unscathed, there are systems in place. We have a preconception that when we ask for help we can’t cope, which is furthest from the truth. Actually, we are not doing the system, our brothers and sisters any good, if we don’t look after ourselves first. Just like any other trauma, first aid, fire, or conflict we do not go in to help anyone until we assess the hazard first, what if we are the hazard??? If we are not operating optimally, to our professional standard, we might be putting others at risk, patients and team alike.
Asking for help, putting that hand up is sometimes the bravest and strongest thing to do. Because we are so driven, we cannot be told we are not coping. We would dismiss and disregard our friends’ and family’s concern and react that they are all stressing over nothing. Our mental health can be like treating a sick child, they have such strong resistance they can almost go to 80/90% of an illness before crashing. When they crash, they crash hard and the treatment is so much more acute and life threatening. Putting that hand up, and taking heed of the ones that love us, listening to our family and brotherhood early might actually save us sooner. This makes us prolong our career, so we may go on and save more people.
Most of all, it may save our own families, may save our marriages and most of all maintain our relationships with our children. Do we not owe it to them to be around? We can’t save everyone, but you can and have to save yourself and the ones closest to you.
There are so many support services, official and anonymous that are desperate to help, judgement free, 100% confidential who just want to help you.
I will list some below.
To be the 100% professionals we are, please look after No1. The world needs you and they need you to be well, so you can continue helping others. You are the guardian angels of the world.
Man UP, has been the barrier fence we have all hidden behind as we have become conditioned to step through that blockage over and over again. If that blockage becomes too big the support pyramid of colleagues, friends, family, won’t be able to lift you as the burden has got too heavy.
Nigel Tye
Growth Evolution Life Coaching
0452090689
nigeltye@hotmail.com
Mental health self-assessment checklist
https://www.thinkmentalhealthwa.com.au/mental-health-self-assessment-checklist
Mental Health Emergency Response Line (MHERL)
Phone: 1300 555 788 (Perth Metro Residents) 1800 676 822 (Peel Residents)
Available: 24/7
Website: http://www.nmahsmh.health.wa.gov.au/emergency/
For anyone involved in a mental health emergency in the community – including individuals, families/carers, members of the general public or health professionals.
Clinicians at MHERL provide assessment, specialist intervention and support for people experiencing a mental health emergency and if required, referral to a local mental health service.
Phone: 1800 552 002
Available: 4.30pm-8:30am Monday to Friday. 24 hours Saturday and Sunday and public holidays.
Website: http://www.nmahsmh.health.wa.gov.au/emergency/
Rural link is an after-hours mental health telephone service for people in rural communities of Western Australia.
Phone: 13 11 14
Available: 24/7
Online chat: 7pm-4am, daily
Website: https://www.lifelinewa.org.au/
Lifeline WA provides all Western Australians experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide with access to 24 hour crisis support.
Phone: 1300 659 467
Available:24/7 Website: suicidecallbackservice.org.au/
For people who are suicidal, caring for someone who is suicidal, people bereaved by suicide, or health professionals supporting people affected by suicide.
This service provides immediate telephone counselling and support in crises. They can provide up to 6 further telephone counselling sessions with the same counsellor scheduled at times best suited to your needs.
Phone: 135 247
Available: 24/7
Youth line: 08 9388 2500
Country callers: 1800 198 313
Website: http://thesamaritans.org.au/
The Samaritans Crisis Line provides 24 hour telephone crisis support for people experiencing distress across Western Australia.
Phone: 1300 224 636
Available: 24/7 Website: beyondblue.org.au/
Online chat: 3pm-12am 7 days a week
Beyondblue provides telephone and online chat support service for people, family or friends who are affected or are experiencing mental health issues. The beyondblue telephone and online chat support service can provide you with information and advice, including information about how to seek further help.
Phone: 1300 789 978
Available: 24/7
Website: mensline.org.au/
Online chat: online chat and video counselling available
Telephone and online support, information and referral service for men with family and relationships concerns. The qualified counsellors at MensLine specialise in family and relationship issues, including relationship breakdown, separation and divorce, parenting, family violence, suicide prevention and emotional well-being.
Phone: 1800 18 7263
Available weekdays 10am – 10pm (AEST)
Website: sane.org
Online chat: weekdays 10am – 10pm (AEST)
Provides information, guidance, referrals, support and connection for people affected by mental illness and carers, families and friends.
Phone: 1300 111 400
Available: Weekdays (9am – 9pm AEST)
Website: wellways.org/helpline
Wellways Helpline is a peer-led helpline staffed by trained volunteers with personal experience of mental health issues. The Wellways Helpline is a support and referral service that provides information to people experiencing mental health issues, as well as their family and friends.
Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA) helpline
Phone: 1300 726 306
Available: 10am to 5pm AEST Monday to Friday.
Website: https://www.panda.org.au/
PANDA – Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia operates Australia’s only National Helpline for individuals and their families to recover from perinatal anxiety and depression, a serious illness that affects up to one in five expecting or new mums or one in ten expecting or new dads. PANDA supports women, men and families across Australia.
Website: https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/pregnancy-and-new-parents/dadvice-for-new-dads
Dadvice provides episodes and information for new and expectant parents, covering everything from bonding with your baby to spotting the signs of anxiety and depression.
